I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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