Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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