so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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