There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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