I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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