He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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