what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize