My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
