Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
