69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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