I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
