Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
