pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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