Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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