i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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