Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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