I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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