hotel room ftw
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize