didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
