Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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