You just made me feel so damn special
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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