I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
