she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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