It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
