question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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