So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
