Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
