talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Couch. On fire.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
