You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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