everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
