:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You are the jesus of drinking
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
