Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
