4 words: hood of his car
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
