She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
