My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize