porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
