Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
