I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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