I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize