i barfeds in our rink
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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