He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
