I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
