you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize