I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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