I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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