i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
where are you?
Hypothermia
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
