dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
