If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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