I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
