let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
