You can't motorboat a personality
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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