You just made me feel so damn special
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
