eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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