I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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