Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
