peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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