Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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