I cut my penus on the lid.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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