Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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