i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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