I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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