your thong is hanging out like whoa
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
