There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
