also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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