great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
