..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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