Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
