We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
